I was putting some books away today and came across my yellowed copy of A Woman's Worth. I read this book back when I was trying to understand life and all the complicated relationships I had to deal with. I was moving away from looking outward for fulfillment (and blame) and moving towards becoming my best self... just for me. This passage popped out at me again today and I thought it was worth sharing:
Excerpt from A Woman's Worth by Marianne Williamson
The Purpose of of Love is to find a parnter we can grow with, through barriers that keep love at bay, to the center of the universe that exists inside all of us. Getting past the barriers, those walls that surround our hearts, means hanging around long enough to get a look at what they are. We must work to find God, not to find men. Women must stop trying to be good enough, except for God. People jusdge us; God doesn't. When we listen to God, it's very clear to us that we're more than good enough already. We learn from God that we're absolutely glorious -- in His image.
It took me a long time to figure out that I don't have to be all things to all people to be loved and that I don't have to have someone right there next to me all the time to know what my worth is. The part that stood out for me today was that we need to hang around long enough to get to know our own barriers to love, not necessarily love from a husband. Just... love.
At times I respond to life from a place of fear. In that place of fear, I don't allow God's love to bring me peace. This morning in particular, I was feeling a bit Scarlett O'Hara. Very fearful. Very "whatever shall I do?" I quickly got out of pity mode and into action mode... but I was still fearful. I wasn't sitting with my feelings. I wasn't letting love back in. I finally had to sit and just be. I came to the realization that I was being fearful because I wasn't controlling how some changes were occurring. I got scared. I forgot what I'm capable of. I forgot all that I've accomplished.
I forgot that I am loved.
I'm on the verge of tears and nervous laughter right now. My life is morphing into something different... something lovely and better. Still, the morphing process can be unsettling. Uncertainty plays tricks on my mind like scary shadows on a wall. But even a butterfly has to have faith that after she turns into a big stewy mush, she will eventually emerge, bold and beautiful, from her crysallis.