Shutting Down

I'm shutting down! Sort of.

I leave for Mexico today. I can't believe it but it's been seven years since I've been back. This from a girl who grew up going every weekend. We used to drive back and forth to weddings, showers, birthday parties... for a day at the beach and mariscos bought from a cart... for lunadas with bonfires and coolers full of sangria...

September 11, 2001 changed all that.

I used to be able to cross the border with minimal effort. Then the lines got longer and longer and things got stranger and stranger. It finally became too difficult to visit. So when my passport got buried under so many other bits of paper and information, I didn't even miss it... until last week when I had to move heaven and earth to get all of my documentation together to be able to not only GO to Mexico, but to come back.

Although, I have a feeling I won't want to come back.

I'm going to Rancho La Puerta, a magical place I have heard of all my life. My Grandmother had a ranch in the same town and we used to always hear stories about the resort that all the gringos came to. My Grandma and her friends would giggle about people coming all the way to Tecate to have what they had every day. They didn't understand that the guests of Rancho La Puerta weren't going for the reasons they lived there. They went for the exercise, the relaxation, the introspection.

The Shutting Down.

This week, I'll only have internet access once in the morning, and once in the evening. That's kinda scary for a girl who relies on being on-line for so much. I'm so used to reaching out and chatting with someone... anyone... everyone... any time of day. When I start to get into my head to much or feel alone or sad, I jump on line to get distracted. It's my happy place. It's easy "avoidance behavior."

This morning, I was talking about it all with the awesome San Diego Momma, Debbie. Between my blubbering and tearful panic, she told me to drill holes, something about parfaits, and that I was just having normal pre-writing feelings. She knows the story I'm working on. She loves it. So do I! So at least that's two of us. She has been lighting a fire under me to write for months now. She even let me join her writing group! She knows, more than anyone, that I have just got to shut down and write.

She also knows I need to relax!!

What better way to relax than to experience a daily spa treatment? Or take a morning hike in the mountains? Or to enjoy a cooking class with friends? Or to get an in-room massage?? That will definitely help with make the shutting down less horrible.

It's going to be a little scary... not having that digital escape to calm the voices in my head... the ones that sounds like Lucy and Ethel trying to get Ricky's jacket back to the club before the candy factory makes her return the hat she wasn't supposed to buy. Or something like that. I know I'll get into it... the silence. The freakishly awesome uninterrupted time. Time to think, to feel, to write. Just like Debbie said,

"Holes."

~~~

Hope you follow my "Eat, Pray, Write" type posts this week!!