Pimp Defined

California. The state that serves up avocados, oranges, and Apple computers.

The state with more drama in the governor's mansion than on any episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey.

The state with 1,100 miles of beautiful coastline.

Yes, the Golden State of California that is known for all this and more will now add the distinction of legally defining the words "pimp" and "pandering."

In case you were confused, a pimp is someone who solicits for a prostitute or brothel and lives off the earnings.

But the word Pimp can be confusing. I mean, we're "pimping" rides, cribs, and other people's work all day long. We're not offering any hookers a place to stay. I mean, most of us aren't anyway. At least I hope none of you are pimps.

*awkward mental image*

So it's easy to understand why Jomo Zambia was confused when he offered to relieve a prostitute of her earnings in exchange for food, housing, and wardrobe. How magnanimous of him. The prostitute declined his offer.

And arrested him instead.

Yes, the would-be pimp, Jomo Zambia had not watched enough Law & Order episodes to know that he should sarcastically ask the hooker if she was a cop. Turns out, the prostitute was undercover LAPD Officer Erika Cruz. Since then, he was convicted, sentenced, and paroled.

But his pimptastic case lives.

Zambia isn't just a pimp. He's a panderer. The legal definition of pandering is "to induce, persuade, or encourage another person to become a prostitute." So while a Pimp isn't necessarily inducing a "pro" into the business, he (or she, in the case of Heidi Fleiss) can still be convicted of pandering.

But I think there's a bigger story here.

What kind of pimp name is Jomo Zambia??

I mean, if you're going to be a pimp, you need a name like D Lish Homeslice or Sweet Baby Rockstar. Who's going to take Jomo Zambia seriously? Maybe if he would have gone by Freaky J Man, he would have known better than to try to pick up a cop.

So, in the event that you need to be taken more seriously on the street, you need to pimpify your name! You can get your pimp name HERE.

And then you need to get yourself a fedora like this one:

[caption id="attachment_859" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Call me Sugartastic C Love"][/caption]

Cuz pimpin' ain't easy.