Avoiding #NaNoWriMo

Everybody has a book in them. Some have several. Getting them OUT is the trick. 

NaNoWriMo, shortened form of National Novel Writing Month, happens every November. Several weeks ahead of Day 1, erstwhile writers sign up on the official site and pledge to write 50,000 words in that month. Sounds like a lot, but when broken down by days, it's only 1,667 words per day.

That's like a well-researched blog post.

Every day.

For 30 days.

Shit.

Okay, hang in there Sugar... you can do this!

DAY 1 & 2

The first two days fell on Saturday and Sunday. If you didn't know, those are weekend days and all I need to avoid writing is a weekend full of weekend shit to do. Stuff like scrubbing the toilets and bathtubs cleaner than they were before we moved in. Or sorting laundry, or watching football, or taking pictures of puffy clouds leftover from the rain or staging elaborate pictures of my Bloody Mary brunch-in-a-glass accompanied by ramen noodles and pot stickers.

You know... totally important weekend stuff!!!

DAY 3

On the third day, I laid in bed fighting off a cold. I never get colds. I get a scratchy throat and stuffed up head from allergies, but rarely do I get a cold. Of course, the week that my oldest daughter is set to come for a visit, I catch a cold. I probably picked up a bug on the flight home from D.C. last week. Whatever it was, the best way I know to get through it is to stay in bed, drink lots of Theraflu, and watch way too much Netflix. And that was exactly what I did on Day 3.

Which brings us to today...

DAY 4

Maybe it was the binge watching of Scandal late last night or the fact that today is Election Day, but I woke up not remembering who the president was. For a moment, I thought, "Wow, Sugar... you have finally lost it." I smiled a little as I thought about how peaceful senility will one day be.

Then reality hit. Obama is still the president (uggg) and we are now on Day 4 of NaNoWriMo. I quietly committed to getting on track. This is how my morning went:

7:40 - Got a message from a friend about an invite that I didn't get. The discomfort got me to "wide awake" pretty quickly. Went potty. (Yes, I'm a grown woman and I still say potty. Shoot me.) Decided that dry toilet paper is not the best way to clean a bum. Made a mental note to get those moist towelettes at the store later. Remembered that an old friend hates the word "moist" and wondered what in his childhood made him hate that word so much.

7:43 - Went to make a cup of Theraflu. Decided I needed something stronger if I was going to write today. Made a cup of coffee instead. Remembered that my Oldest Daughter (the coffee snob) hates my K-Cups. Made a mental note to hide K-Cups and break out the fancy single cup thingy that she gave me for my birthday. Or was it Christmas? 

7:45 - Youngest Daughter wanted to make sure she and her brother were still going to Community Day with their Homeschool group. Made a mental note that today was Tuesday... ALL DAY... and told Mr. Jones that he needed to drive them to meet their group.

7:50 - Pulled out brown paper bags for the kids' lunches. Decided they looked too boring. Found a brown Sharpie (which, oddly, did NOT seem boring) and drew and decorated each kids' initials on their bag. While drawing squiggly lines and flowers, I considered the thought that this was to make up for the twinge of guilt I felt for not driving them to Community Day.

7:51 - Considered re-reading Co-dependent No More instead of actually writing today. 

8:00 - Checked Twitter and Facebook for clients. Posted links on all accounts before reading random articles that I never see in my own stream because I don't have lists and most tweets and posts are buried. Found articles about a new show coming out about a haunted island. Downloaded a free report on a topic that I already have too many free reports on. Downloaded a copy of my friends new e-book, The Cowbell Principle

8:10 - Considered beginning my morning writing, since I wouldn't be driving the kids. Checked Facebook instead.

8:15 - Looked up when I took a sip of my coffee. Noticed some smudges on the love seat. Put my coffee down on the ground and grabbed some furniture cleaner and started rubbing away the spots. Rubbed it so well, it was way cleaner than the rest of the love seat. Continued cleaning the entire love seat.

8:30 - Decided my son's hair needed a little trimming. 

8:40 - Located bandages for the tiny nicks on my fingers from trimming my son's hair.

8:45 - Mr. Jones decided to run an errand before taking the kids to Community Day. Swallowed my need to control the situation and just smiled as he walked out the door. Calculated the amount of time it would take for him to be back in time to make sure the kids were on time. 

9:10 - 20 minutes before kids needed to leave, realized I hadn't made them breakfast. Yelled for them to shove some cereal down their throats while I compulsively Windexed the crap out of the cabinets waiting for Mr. Jones to return.

9:11 - Mr. Jones walked in the door. I put the Windex away.

9:30 - Time to go. Naturally, this is the moment I ask the kids if they brushed their teeth. Naturally, they had not. 

9:35 - Kids and husband finally out the door. NOW I CAN WRITE!!!

9:36 - Checked Facebook.

9:37 - Checked Twitter.

9:40 - Decided that my dog needs his own Instagram account. Researched available names. Decided on "Pinche Tee Jay" and created the account.

9:45 - Grabbed some leftover pastrami from my #NationalSandwichDay sandwich and used it to get T.J. to pose for me. After a few shots, started rethinking the Instagram account name. Maybe I should have just gone with the initials "TJ" instead of spelling them out. Hmmmm....

10:00 - Yes. Initials it is!

10:03 - Ahhh, screw it... I'll just keep the account the way it is... for now.

10:15 - Can't find my cup of coffee.

10:16 - Found my coffee! Decided to try the four-day old Halloween cakes my mom brought us last night when she came over unannounced. Again.

10:17 - Still chewing the dry four-day old Halloween cake.

10: 18 - Grabbed the laptop and tried logging in to the NaNoWriMo website. Apparently, I never verified my account. Checked email to verify. Link was too old. After poking around a few places, finding no option to get a new verification link, I went with the "forgot password" option.

10:20 - It worked! Set up a new password and verified my account. 

10:21 - Started craving Cheetos, probably needed something salty to counter the super sweet frosting on the four-day-old Halloween cake that my mom brought over on her unannounced visit.

10:25 - FOUND THE CHEETOS STASH!!!

10:30 - Internet doing something funky. Got pop-up message to reboot the router. Located necessary information on the back of the router. Realized I am Can't-read-itty-bitty-print-on-the-back-of-electronics Years Old.

10:33 - Router rebooted itself before I could find the magnifying glass. Might have called the router an asshole.

10:35 - Craving sweets after all those Cheetos. Against my better judgment, took another bite of the four-day-old Halloween cake. Decided that my earlier assessment was correct: The thick layer of frosting did nothing to mask the dryness of the cake. Washed it down with my now cold coffee.

10:40 - Checked email. Found a deal on rum tasting. Messaged some friends about the deal. Apparently, I can't do shit on my own. Re-reading Co-dependent No More back on the table.

10:45 - RUM TASTING TICKETS PURCHASED!

10:46 - Cleaning spilled coffee after knocking the mug over in my excitement over purchasing the rum tasting ticket. Googled "How to get coffee stains out of carpet."

11:00 - Organized my podcast library.

11:15 - Posted a new profile pic. Tweeted about my avoidance behavior and the fact that I have too many unstable friends. Thought about the irony of that tweet.

sugar says ahhhh.jpg

11:17 - Rethinking the profile pic.

11:30 - Decided my avoidance behavior would make a great post.

12:00 - 30 minutes of thinking about it later, logged in to write the post.

12:30 - Post done!

12:35 - Got back on the NaNoWriMo site. Finally began writing.

(((writing writing writing)))

1:15 - Mr. Jones and the kids got back home. Decided to write more later... after catching up on some Sons of Anarchy on Netflix, of course.

How's YOUR NaNoWriMo going?