First Day

One week ago today, I started a new job. These are my thoughts from that day.

I forgot how much I loved this part of me. I just got out of a four hour intake meeting where we not only had to review services with a client, but we had to talk them back into services that they were having second thoughts about. Not only that, I got to brainstorm with them on some business ideas that weren’t necessarily anything we would handle, but I got to share my expertise with them and that felt so good.

It was time.

Time for me to get back. I think I’ve been ready to come back for a while, but I was too scared. That whole experience with the marketing group that shall remain nameless, when the divorce was at its nastiest and the car was taken away, and I didn’t know if I was going to be able to stay in the house we were in… that was such a crazy time. I had no idea what was up or down and my brain was beat. 

I wrote about scrambled divorce brain and how I felt like it had finally unscrambled. I was ready to get back to work. I had tried while we were at the beginning of the nastiness, and that didn’t work out so well. It didn’t help that the training sucked and the boss who strongly identified with his bro side was mildly aggressive in all of his conversations about anything and everything he said set my PTSD on fire, but the divorce brain didn’t help any of that.

And then Larry died. 

I’ve said that so many times in the last year. It’s not an excuse. It’s a reason. It’s a reason for putting my life on hold… for taking time to heal. I had to lean in and grieve and care for my mind, body, and health. Now that time has passed and the grief has mostly subsided, I’m back in an office, more peaceful and more confident in my own abilities.

I interviewed with this group back in January, it was not the time, nor the position for me. I was bummed, but I still had a lot to process. Taking on a new job at that time could have been a disaster. This new position is a better fit, too. There’s a lot of client interfacing in this project coordinator role and I love it! I mean… I love the technology of social media, but I don’t love putting my head down and working for hours on it. I’m a people person who loves nerdy stuff. So this role is just the right fit.

The client even hugged me on the way out of the intake meeting, for goodness sake! I’d say it was a home run kind of first day.