It’s almost been a year.
Almost a year since we got sucker-punched by life.
Almost a year since we had to start itemizing all of our belongings... just in case.
Almost a year since we were lucky enough to get a national ad that would have paid for a really sweet family vacation, but instead, went towards our regular monthly payments.
Since then, we had to sell my Jeep and the 914 that Mr. Jones and I used to take out on date nights. We had to leave our half acre and chickens and friends that would meet for coffee just because and our favorite coffee shops and beaches and trails and everything else that I loved that was so familiar. We landed in a good place, but that doesn’t take away the fact that we lost a lot.
It just hit me today that I am still in mourning for the life we had before... and the life we almost had. I miss it more than I want to admit to anyone, especially myself. It feels like there was this moment in time where everything was almost perfect... and I’m sad that I want it back and don't know how to make that possible.
Maybe I'm being selfish. I don’t care. I had a life that I loved and now I don’t. The life I have now is good, but it isn’t the one I was perfectly happy with last year... when we almost had everything... and then everything changed.
And for some reason, I can't stop crying about it today.