Nocturnal Wanderings

I've written about my dreams before. Not the I-wish-I-could-travel-to-Spain kind of dreams, but the actual dreams that happen in the middle of the night. Last night, I had some doozies.

I dreamed I had returned to an old brick house. Apparently, it was my house, although in my waking life, I don't recall ever seeing it before. Or maybe I have, but I don't remember. It might have been a house I saw once and stored the visual of it somewhere in the back of my brain. It's strange the way our subconscious mind works. 
So this house was stuffed full of old furniture. Mismatched. Outdated. Even inflatable. On the outside, some bricks had fallen off and needed to be replaced. The yard was full of weeds and broken fire pits. I was overwhelmed by the task of clearing the rooms out and counting the missing bricks...
but I was glad that the house was mine
Then enters my husband. I remember thinking, what the hell? Why is he here? He smiled that boyfriend smile (you know, the one with the dimples) and told me he wanted to help. Before I could object, he started to tell me where to put the furniture. He wanted to show me how to put all the bricks back and how many I was going to need. He explained that to do this properly I was going to need this and this tool. Wondering what he was doing there turned into a strange relief that I'd have some help. 
Then, he wrapped his arms around me from behind in a boyfriend kind of way. I used to love that. And I almost fell into enjoying it again. But some nagging little voice said, "You're not being held. You're being held back." Still, the tiniest part of me thought, "Well... there IS a lot of work to do... and it might be good to have some help... and I can deal with a little suffocation..." Then I remembered, that's how this whole thing started ten years ago! I wanted him to unhug me and to leave me to clean out my own house. And then I felt that uneasy feeling of letting someone else have all the control over all the decisions in my life.

And I didn't like that at all.
But I was too worried that I'd make him mad. I woke up before I could figure out a "nice" way to tell him that this house was mine and I didn't need his help. Even in my dream, I was worried about upsetting him! Slowly, I opened my eyes and saw that I was back in my peaceful little cottage. I got up to make some coffee, still haunted by the nocturnal wanderings of my mind. I wondered what my dream had meant.
I sat with my cup of coffee and went to my trusty Dream Dictionary.
To see a house in your dream, represents your own soul and self. Specific rooms in the house indicate a specific aspect of your psyche. In general, the attic represents your intellect, the basement represents the unconscious, etc. If the house is empty, then it indicates feelings of insecurity.  If the house is shifting, then it suggests that you are going through some personal changes and changing your belief system.
To dream that you are cleaning your house, signifies your need to clear out your thoughts and getting rid of old ways. You are seeking self-improvement.
If you live with others in your waking life, but dream that you are living alone, suggests that you need to take new steps toward independence. You need to accept responsibilities and be more self-reliant.
To see an old, run-down house in your dream, represents your old beliefs, attitudes and how you used to think or feel. A situation in your current life may be bringing about those same old attitudes and feelings. 
It really is strange the way our subconscious mind works.