I had to read these words over and over tonight. They were part of a post that had a picture in it that I recognized. You might, too.
Photo by Tracey Clark
These are the words that I couldn't peel my eyes away from:
The root of the word courage is cor -- the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage had a very different definition than it does today. Courage originally meant to speak one's mind by telling all one's heart.
Over time, this definition has changed, and, today, courage is more synonymous with being heroic. Heroics are important and we certainly need heroes, but I think we've lost touch with the idea that speaking honestly and openly about who we are, about what we're feeling, and about our experiences (good and bad) is the definition of courage.
I've been a big chicken lately. I've been wanting to share and ask and say some things that I've put through the Troll Filter. I've been worn down by reading ugly words from nasty people. I thought I was ignoring them, but really, I haven't been. I've been thinking about everything I want to write and how it might be twisted by little minds into insults hurled back at me. I've only tried to be myself and offer my view of life and experiences I've enjoyed. You know... blogging! But some people aren't content with their lives, so they run around the internet and pluck wings from unsuspecting creatures who are just flying along in the sunshine, minding their own business, having a good time.
The argument is that we put ourselves out there. That's true. And I need to toughen up a bit. It's just that I had not experienced trolls so much as I have recently. I guess that means my traffic is up. (LOL... sort of).
I delete the troll emails. I usually sit and stare at the words trying to understand them... formulating some sort of response. But as I've come to understand, you can't argue with crazy. You can't unless you actually ARE crazy and then their biting words would make sense. But they don't.
My other blogging friends and I laugh at the words the trolls write to us. We wonder how people could be so miserable. Did their moms and dads not love them enough? Well, neither did mine, but you don't see me spitting on your dreams. I just want to mock them when I get their emails. But I figure that's giving them energy. So I don't do anything but delete. Because that takes all the energy away.
But if I stop myself from writing, did the energy really get deleted? Did I really win or did they? Did their nastiness overpower my courage? I suppose. But only momentarily. I may not be their cup of tea. I may be a favorite punching bag of one or two of them. I don't know why. Maybe they like Aspertame better than Sugar; who knows? I do know that I'm done being a chicken. I'm just gonna keep writing about loving life... about being scared... about the good and the bad of being alone... and I'm not going to care what the trolls say.
Bring it on, bitches.
Please read the rest of the wonderful post that I refer to above.