Every Christmas, I look forward to giving the kids their special present. We do things small at Casa Jones, sometimes out of necessity, but mostly because I'm just not one of those people that likes to stuff the Christmas tree. But this year, it was extra small out of necessity. That's just how things worked out. That's how life goes.
Since I didn't have to do much last minute wrapping, I had more time to think about Christmas Eves past. There were some that I wanted to write about, but I didn't want anyone getting the idea that I wasn't grateful for getting through the year. It's been a rough one, but one that has landed us where I feel like we belong. I'm sure it still confuses other people so I just didn't want to send out the wrong message.
My mind kept returning to the news of one in our community who had been expecting his mom to arrive the night before, only to receive a call that she had tragically died in an accident on her way to see him and his young family. His story brought up so many memories of my own. So many people just… gone. People I don't ever get to see on Christmas Eve again. So many years have passed without them. It's hard to believe that you get to go one, but you do.
So many things were going through my mind as I sat in the quiet of the night. I felt the pull to release my memories and emotions through my fingertips on to a keyboard, but I just didn't want to blog about everything I was thinking and feeling. So I typed the words onto paper. It felt just as good. Better, in fact. There's just something about the hum of a machine that gives your mind the sound it needs to just be still.
I'm so glad I bought that old machine. I remember how excited I was to find it and how giddy I was driving it home. My husband thought I was nuts. He still gives me a sideways glance whenever I move it around. His eyes say two things, "I can't believe you spent good money on that," and "Don't you have a laptop for that?"
And I give him a return glance that says two more things.
"Shut up," and
"Sometimes, you just need a typewriter."